Thursday, September 22, 2005

Day 232 after Downsizing

This is my first posting. I decided for my sanity, I would begin a blog so that my pain and frustration could live in the either of the internet.

It has been 232 days since the corporate monster decided I was expendable. Since that day I have sent out hundreds of resumes. I want to talk a little bit about resumes and what happens to them once they are dispatched to a prospective employer.

It take about a week to create a good resume. Then it takes another few weeks to rework it so that it is truly vague and won't trip any hidden triggers or stops in the employment process. You are proud; you have become an expert at saying nothing in two pages or less. You send this generic pap off to the prospective employers who are looking for the person they just let go.

Now why do I say that? Well if you look at job postings they are very specific. The only thing they leave out is the name of the guy they just fired. Maybe they should just word their ads with his name. An example: XYZ Company is looking to replace Hilda Swenson. Hilda did a bang up job but we just didn't like her personality and she was old and fat. If you are just like Hilda (and make a mean brownie cookie) but are 21 with a great figure and drop dead gorgeous, we want to hire you. The male side of that would be: XYZ Company is looking to replace Walter Sloan. Walter was a great guy in his day but his golf game has slipped and he's not as much fun on business trips any more. If you are just like Walter but are 30 and like to swing, we want to talk to you.

I digress, back to the resumes. After you send them off where do they go? I have sent out hundreds in my 232 day job search and none of them have every come back and not a single HR department has acknowledged having gotten one. Once I called to see if they had received it and they said they must have but they didn't know where it was right now and anyway they had filled the position a week before they ran the ad.

I have come to the conclusion that companies don't have enough for HR departments to do so they post job openings and have their HR departments practice reading resumes. I wish they would say "This is a practice job posting" so I could avoid sending off my resume.

Thanks for reading but I have to go now - My Soaps are on.

The Corporate Reject


Post a Comment

<< Home